Instead of a resolution this year, I decided to do a Word of the Year after a Teachable Tuesday on Blessed is She. After lots of prayer, I came up with the word "SHARE." There are no specifics to it, all I have to do is share. It's easier said than done.
Since January, I've challenged myself to share everything from my breakfasts with my husband to sharing my space on the couch with my kids. It's all meant to challenge and change me for the better, and maybe reach people who need to know they're not alone.
In this spirit of growth and commitment to sharing, I share this hard news with you...
Nine weeks ago, my husband lost his job.
We have a young family, a house, tuition, car payments, mouths to feed...all the adult things. Oh, and I don't have a full-time job.
There are good and bad days. Days when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, or a friend sends a loving text and you just know the world is a better place because of it, or you pat yourself on the back for staying present.
The bad days are almost unbearable. The weight of it all, managing everyone's emotions, keeping the faith, trying not to bicker and lash out at each other. It's all so exhausting. These are the days I go back to basics: deep breathing and deep prayer with my Lord.
Today was a particularly bad day. I finalized all of our government assistance programs like WIC and Food Stamps/ SNAP benefits. When I left the building, I could hardly process it all.
How did this happen? We have master's degrees and careers. This isn't how it's supposed to be. WHY?
I don't any of these answers. This is what I do know though:
1. I'm so grateful and blessed for all of the help we can get
2. I believe in redemptive suffering, not in suffering for the sake of suffering. I will make the best of this and hope to share these new inspirations with you in the weeks and months to come.
3. I'm not entirely sure what's propelling me to share this news with the world, but it's pushing my boundaries and that's good. If I can help just one struggling family know they're not alone, my job is done.
4. The world is full of incredibly generous and sweet people. Tough time always reveal that.
5. SNAP and WIC have surprisingly healthy choices. I'm eager to see how I can stay as close to Whole30 as possible within their guidelines.
6. I like a challenge, so this turns my frown upside down!
I'm going to take you on this journey with me and my family. I plan on posting what I buy with our assistance and how I navigate my personal food choices with the strict guidelines of government programs that are different than what we normally eat.
Thank you all for your kind words and support. They mean more to me than you'll ever know.